Private Eyes

It has fatal consequences in Graham Greene’s novel and film, The Quiet American and becomes a modern parable and warning in Cruel Intentions. There’s a reason why it seems life-like, and that’s because it really does happen. So this is a gentle reminder to urge you to be careful and, at least, a little bit diplomatic when you write stuff.

This extends to what you put, well, anywhere really. Many things that should remain private, unfortunately – and embarrassingly – do not.  Some people vent furiously in their journals but this can be a disaster if the journal or notebook falls into the wrong hands. It could be seriously damaging to another innocent party, and land you in hot water, which you may take a while to recover from.

This is especially crucial, when you are writing about other people.  Try and write so that – in what has to be a worst-case scenario – if it does get read by the person, you are writing about or by another (perhaps a third party with an axe to grind) you can at least still hold your head up in public.

For those of you who have seen the movie Mean Girls, need I say more?  Or if you are referencing Bridget Jones’ Diary, you know in real life Mark Darcy would never have come back after reading the dreadful comments about him as written by poor, dear old Bridg.

Pretty much the rule is to ask yourself: if someone else read this would it reflect badly on me? Would it be taken the wrong way or would it be hurtful to someone?

As far as possible it is best to take the high road, even in the privacy of your thoughts or journal. Try and be fair when you write about people. This is good practice for day-to-day dealings in any case.

“Try and be fair when you write about people. This is good practice for day-to-day dealings in any case.”

And do take precautions: hide your journal or diary in a safe place – one that pesky younger brothers or somewhat snoopy roommates won’t easily lay their mitts on, by accident or design.  You certainly have a right to your privacy but don’t be provocative either – people can seldom resist things they know they shouldn’t be reading (especially if it is left on the kitchen table for days).  Take care and for goodness sake, PUT IT AWAY.  Under lock and key if needed.

The last thing you need is someone having access to your personal feelings and innermost thoughts, if they do not necessarily have your best interests at heart or the maturity to be able to deal with it (in the case of younger brothers or sisters!)

And this being girlosophy, the reverse applies too.  Respect the privacy of others.  If your sister, mum or roommate has a journal or some sort of diary, don’t invade their privacy by trying to find it or reading it over their shoulder.  Instead, respect their journey and go write in your own.

Photographer: Anthea Paul