Is your friendship a cactus or an orchid?

It was natural and organic, and it felt as though barely a week had passed since we were in communication, rather than ten years. It was such a lovely couple of hours. We laughed, ate lunch, rolled our eyes at stuff that used to happen, swapped photographs. And it got me thinking: why can’t all friendships be like that? Less needy and more spontaneous. Less driven, but more giving. Less stressful, rather, more liberating. 



Some friendships are like a cactus plant, they barely need much water and they can flower while growing in sand in extreme conditions. It may seem as though you can’t get too close, but you see the beauty when you least expect to. Other relationships - most I’d say - are high maintenance: they’re more like orchids, delicate up close but prone to tantrums if the conditions aren’t perfect. Exquisite but hard work, in other words.

“And it got me thinking: why can’t all friendships be like that? Less needy and more spontaneous. Less driven, but more giving.”



We can tend to overlook the friendships in our lives that might seem permanent, but they also seem a bit distant. I guess it's when we don't see the other person all that much, sometimes it is easy to forget how much you like them or all of the things you may have in common. The test is: if you can go without communicating for ages but then when you do, you pick up where you left off, then that friendship is a keeper. It's something to be treasured - "the gift that keeps on giving!" 



So here’s to the humble, low maintenance friendship: our personal oasis in the desert. Because the rarest bloom of all is the one worth waiting for.

Photographer: Anthea Paul